Well, time is passing, and I have nothing of interest to report......
Medically, I suppose that it is a good thing having nothing noteworthy going on. While I am still not 100%, I am feeling better and stronger every week.
It looks like I will not be able to go to Quartzsite this year, although I may be able to visit with the Win’s before they leave the Southwest. I plan to spend most of the next few months battling the BK court and my health insurance co....... I am hoping to have these things wrapped up by this summer.
This last year, for the first time in my life, I have had no long term plan. Most of my life, I have had a pretty good idea of what I would be doing for the next year. Being of modest means, and being addicted to living indoors and eating food, my plans mostly have revolved around work or business.
The extraordinary events of this past year have upset the normally predictable cadence of my life, and have left me floundering about. I am hoping that my life will fall into some kind of order, and be manageable once again.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
January 7, 2010
I arrived back in Frazier Park on Sunday, and decided to stay in town across from Carls house instead of going to Lockwood Valley. Since I have been recovering, Carl and I have gotten into the habit of watching football together, and...... well, the playoffs start this weekend.........
I had my 3 month follow up doctors appointment yesterday, and was found to be cancer free!!! They took samples, did several scans, and found nothing out of the ordinary. I was surprised by the relief that I experienced when hearing the good news, I guess that I had underestimated the anxiety that goes along with check-ups.
My next appointment will be next Dec...... I am thrilled that I get a year off.
I started this year with 4 big issues to deal with: staying alive, of course being the most important, insurance issues next, collecting money or property out of my debtors BK, and getting my finances in order. I guess, for now, I can take cancer off of the list.
A year ago, my finances were in pretty good order, and none of the other problems existed. I guess that this is an example of how quickly things can change. The choice seems simple, live consumed with fear and anger, or be happy that I am alive, and try to get the most out of every day. Seems like a no-brainer.......
I had my 3 month follow up doctors appointment yesterday, and was found to be cancer free!!! They took samples, did several scans, and found nothing out of the ordinary. I was surprised by the relief that I experienced when hearing the good news, I guess that I had underestimated the anxiety that goes along with check-ups.
My next appointment will be next Dec...... I am thrilled that I get a year off.
I started this year with 4 big issues to deal with: staying alive, of course being the most important, insurance issues next, collecting money or property out of my debtors BK, and getting my finances in order. I guess, for now, I can take cancer off of the list.
A year ago, my finances were in pretty good order, and none of the other problems existed. I guess that this is an example of how quickly things can change. The choice seems simple, live consumed with fear and anger, or be happy that I am alive, and try to get the most out of every day. Seems like a no-brainer.......
Monday, December 28, 2009
December 28,2009
Here I am in Yuma..... I arrived Sat. the 19th, and found a few wandering individuals already here. The Christmas Win rally didn’t really begin until Monday, so I had a few peaceful days to recover from the long drive getting here, and to get all of my systems up and running. I am enjoying reconnecting with friends that I have not seen since Feb.
I am really happy to be out and doing something beside being sick. The Win’s are an energetic outfit, and they seem to infect everyone who wanders into their circle. Wise doctors would likely prescribe two weeks with the Win’s as part of any recovery program.
I find myself impatient, and catch myself whining about having minimal energy. I seem to forget that only a few weeks ago, I had no energy..... half empty, half full????? Anyway, at this point, I seem headed for normal, and can’t wait to get there.
This motor home society displays an interesting dynamic that is similar to the social interaction that I remember from the “cruising sailor” world. People make friends easily, and interact completely at will..... no one is compelled to spend time with anyone, or in any particular activity..... you are not trapped by co-workers, your job, or your neighbors. Everyone is free to engage or avoid anyone. You are free to come and go without recriminations, and are free to spend your time exactly as you wish. The other side of the coin also warrants mention here.... others are free to avoid you as well.
As an observer of human nature, I find it interesting to notice the different ways that people (veterans and beginners alike) adapt to this unregulated lifestyle. I am particularly fascinated by my own actions when immersed in this environment.... a step toward self awareness, or confirmation that simple minds are easily amused??? I guess that it really doesn’t matter.
I will return to Frazier Park, and spend Jan. and Feb. working on my financial health. I have my last BK hearing on March 5, and need to begin a lawsuit against my health insurance co. I was unable to find a law firm to take my case on contingency..... I think that it is because my case likely falls under the ERISA laws, and there is no possibility of a large “bad faith” settlement. At best, I will be able to make them pay my medical bills.
I have a doctors appointment on the 5th of Jan. Which I believe is the first in a yearly search for cancerous activity in my necessary organs. As it now stands, there is only a 5-10% chance that my cancer has spread beyond my bladder..... Those are pretty good odds, and seem to have dropped the medical news off of the front page.
I am really happy to be out and doing something beside being sick. The Win’s are an energetic outfit, and they seem to infect everyone who wanders into their circle. Wise doctors would likely prescribe two weeks with the Win’s as part of any recovery program.
I find myself impatient, and catch myself whining about having minimal energy. I seem to forget that only a few weeks ago, I had no energy..... half empty, half full????? Anyway, at this point, I seem headed for normal, and can’t wait to get there.
This motor home society displays an interesting dynamic that is similar to the social interaction that I remember from the “cruising sailor” world. People make friends easily, and interact completely at will..... no one is compelled to spend time with anyone, or in any particular activity..... you are not trapped by co-workers, your job, or your neighbors. Everyone is free to engage or avoid anyone. You are free to come and go without recriminations, and are free to spend your time exactly as you wish. The other side of the coin also warrants mention here.... others are free to avoid you as well.
As an observer of human nature, I find it interesting to notice the different ways that people (veterans and beginners alike) adapt to this unregulated lifestyle. I am particularly fascinated by my own actions when immersed in this environment.... a step toward self awareness, or confirmation that simple minds are easily amused??? I guess that it really doesn’t matter.
I will return to Frazier Park, and spend Jan. and Feb. working on my financial health. I have my last BK hearing on March 5, and need to begin a lawsuit against my health insurance co. I was unable to find a law firm to take my case on contingency..... I think that it is because my case likely falls under the ERISA laws, and there is no possibility of a large “bad faith” settlement. At best, I will be able to make them pay my medical bills.
I have a doctors appointment on the 5th of Jan. Which I believe is the first in a yearly search for cancerous activity in my necessary organs. As it now stands, there is only a 5-10% chance that my cancer has spread beyond my bladder..... Those are pretty good odds, and seem to have dropped the medical news off of the front page.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
December 22, 2009
Hi all..... I am in Yuma, Az. and am having internet problems..... More when I get things sorted out.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
December 15, 2009
Well, it has been 9 weeks since my last invasive procedure, and the only thing scheduled is a cat scan on Jan. 5. I believe that this is a record. For the last year, every time that I started feeling better, it was another debilitating treatment of some kind. It feels odd, and probably wrong, to be so focused on my “operation”, but, after all, this is a medical information blog.
I have noticed some improvement in the energy and endurance areas, and am thinking of visiting the WIN’s in Yuma for a few days. I am not sure that I will actually do it, but I am encouraged to at least be thinking about doing something other than being sick. This last year illness has dominated my life, and I look forward to changing that this coming new year.
As I recover physically from my illness, I notice that I still need to recover from my legal and financial hangover. When feeling really sick, I am able to ignore all of the side issues, but when feeling better, they come creeping back into my mind, and keeping me awake at night. I suppose that all of this is normal.
Nothing was resolved at the BK hearing...... I think that the judge uses time to punish people that cannot come to some agreement on their own. This issue will be decided by the judge on March 5, 2010. Opposing counsel requested a full day for the hearing, and claims to need at least 3 months to prepare. The biggest issue is the value of the houses.... What makes it tough and expensive, is that paper work, (appraisals and BPO’s) cannot be used without having the people that prepared them, in court to cross examine.
I found out that the opposing counsel is being paid by the hour...... not a big deal, except that he is the one who is trying to broker a deal, and is the only one that will profit from an ongoing battle. I think that it may be useful that the process is bleeding the debtors, but I hate to see money that could be used to settle our differences, being used to promote the fight. Maybe I should contact the principals personally.
I have noticed some improvement in the energy and endurance areas, and am thinking of visiting the WIN’s in Yuma for a few days. I am not sure that I will actually do it, but I am encouraged to at least be thinking about doing something other than being sick. This last year illness has dominated my life, and I look forward to changing that this coming new year.
As I recover physically from my illness, I notice that I still need to recover from my legal and financial hangover. When feeling really sick, I am able to ignore all of the side issues, but when feeling better, they come creeping back into my mind, and keeping me awake at night. I suppose that all of this is normal.
Nothing was resolved at the BK hearing...... I think that the judge uses time to punish people that cannot come to some agreement on their own. This issue will be decided by the judge on March 5, 2010. Opposing counsel requested a full day for the hearing, and claims to need at least 3 months to prepare. The biggest issue is the value of the houses.... What makes it tough and expensive, is that paper work, (appraisals and BPO’s) cannot be used without having the people that prepared them, in court to cross examine.
I found out that the opposing counsel is being paid by the hour...... not a big deal, except that he is the one who is trying to broker a deal, and is the only one that will profit from an ongoing battle. I think that it may be useful that the process is bleeding the debtors, but I hate to see money that could be used to settle our differences, being used to promote the fight. Maybe I should contact the principals personally.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
December 8, 2009
8 weeks and counting..... I will be so glad when the passing of time will be marked by something other than a medical event.
Medically, I continue to make progress, slow, but progress just the same. My new bladder is becoming more predicable, and the holes in my belly are almost totally closed up. I am still tired and moderately depressed, but trending in the right direction. Energy, optimism, and humor are still missing in action.
Legally, I am still in the eye of the storm. BK law is complicated and convoluted, especially for beginners like me. I have 3 hearings scheduled for tomorrow, and am not sure if things will be finalized there, or just another continuance. There are 144 hearings scheduled between 1:30 and the end of the day.... doesn’t seem to leave much time for argument.
I want the judge to throw the houses in question out of the proceedings, let me foreclose, and start seeing some income. The debtor wants to keep the houses in the BK, and trickle out a bit of the money owed while waiting for the housing market to improve. The BK trustee, the guy that handles the estate money, and is supposed to broker a deal between the parties, stands to gain about $20,000 if the houses stay in the BK plan. (He gets about 10% of all money that passes through the plan.) Needless to say, he has sided with the debtor, and is opposing my motion for relief, and pushing for an unreasonable repayment plan to be confirmed. I feel a little out gunned, but who knows, David did beat Goliath after all.
I have put my insurance dispute on the back burner until I get the BK stuff sorted out, but am still trying to find an attorney to handle it on contingency.
I am making a conscious effort to direct my mind into a pleasant future...... reading/thinking about RV trips, BBQ’s, kayak adventures, and 4 wheel drive fun. I am hoping that my mind will drag me out of the doldrums.
Medically, I continue to make progress, slow, but progress just the same. My new bladder is becoming more predicable, and the holes in my belly are almost totally closed up. I am still tired and moderately depressed, but trending in the right direction. Energy, optimism, and humor are still missing in action.
Legally, I am still in the eye of the storm. BK law is complicated and convoluted, especially for beginners like me. I have 3 hearings scheduled for tomorrow, and am not sure if things will be finalized there, or just another continuance. There are 144 hearings scheduled between 1:30 and the end of the day.... doesn’t seem to leave much time for argument.
I want the judge to throw the houses in question out of the proceedings, let me foreclose, and start seeing some income. The debtor wants to keep the houses in the BK, and trickle out a bit of the money owed while waiting for the housing market to improve. The BK trustee, the guy that handles the estate money, and is supposed to broker a deal between the parties, stands to gain about $20,000 if the houses stay in the BK plan. (He gets about 10% of all money that passes through the plan.) Needless to say, he has sided with the debtor, and is opposing my motion for relief, and pushing for an unreasonable repayment plan to be confirmed. I feel a little out gunned, but who knows, David did beat Goliath after all.
I have put my insurance dispute on the back burner until I get the BK stuff sorted out, but am still trying to find an attorney to handle it on contingency.
I am making a conscious effort to direct my mind into a pleasant future...... reading/thinking about RV trips, BBQ’s, kayak adventures, and 4 wheel drive fun. I am hoping that my mind will drag me out of the doldrums.
Monday, November 30, 2009
November 30, 2009
OK, today is 7 weeks since my surgery, and I am still doing about the same. My wounds are nearly healed, and I can walk with very little pain. My new bladder is working pretty well..... daytime is almost perfect, and nighttime is a bit iffy, but getting better. My sense of humor and cheerful demeanor are still missing in action.
I am still caught in the grasp of an anesthesia hangover. Basically healthy, but tired all of the time.... no energy or endurance. I understand that this is fairly normal, and the only answer is patience. I guess that the good news is that I am on schedule, and things should get better from here.
I attended the “meeting of creditors” last Monday, regarding the RE note that I hold. The debtors counsel made a settlement offer that was not quite good enough, so we are still negotiating. It involves a sale of one house to the debtors’ step son, and it is about 50/50 that the sale is a sham, so I am not getting my hopes up. My next court date is Dec 9..... confirmation hearing, relief from stay hearing, motion to sell RE hearing. Looks like it will be a busy day.
We had our first snow of the year...... Sat. Morning, about 4 inches.... lots of fun. This reminds me that it is time to head south and to a lower elevation, but I think that I will have to wait until I feel better, and I get a better handle on my finances.
I have read this post, and notice that it lacks humor and zip..... lifeless, just information. Sorry.....
I am still caught in the grasp of an anesthesia hangover. Basically healthy, but tired all of the time.... no energy or endurance. I understand that this is fairly normal, and the only answer is patience. I guess that the good news is that I am on schedule, and things should get better from here.
I attended the “meeting of creditors” last Monday, regarding the RE note that I hold. The debtors counsel made a settlement offer that was not quite good enough, so we are still negotiating. It involves a sale of one house to the debtors’ step son, and it is about 50/50 that the sale is a sham, so I am not getting my hopes up. My next court date is Dec 9..... confirmation hearing, relief from stay hearing, motion to sell RE hearing. Looks like it will be a busy day.
We had our first snow of the year...... Sat. Morning, about 4 inches.... lots of fun. This reminds me that it is time to head south and to a lower elevation, but I think that I will have to wait until I feel better, and I get a better handle on my finances.
I have read this post, and notice that it lacks humor and zip..... lifeless, just information. Sorry.....
Thursday, November 19, 2009
November 19, 2009
Well, Monday will be 6 weeks since my surgery. I am definitely doing better, physically and emotionally. I still have up days and down days, but it seems that there might be a light at the end of the tunnel. This fits into the pattern for this surgery...... 6 weeks to feel better, 6 weeks to one year to feel good.
My new bladder is beginning to work fairly well.... This means that I am starting to have some control over when I pee...... Woo Hoo..... I am recommending that all of you sell your "Depends" stock soon, it is almost certain to take a dive.
This whole situation reminds me that you don’t appreciate something until it is gone. Hopefully, I will emerge from this nightmare with a new appreciation for the simpler things in life..... a kinder, gentler, and more empathetic person. Of course, I might just turn into a mean, angry, bitter old man..... Right now I would put the odds at about 60-40..... LOL
Tuesday, I had to file opposition papers at the bankruptcy court in Santa Anna, a round trip of over 200 miles. It was my most ambitious outing to date, so my friend Carl went with me for company and as a relief driver. I held up remarkably well, so well in fact, that I thought that my endurance had returned. The next day, I spent about 40 minutes pumping out my black water tank, and felt like I had been hit by the swine flue, and run over by a truck. I ended up spending most of the day in bed.
I am anxious to get back to some kind of normal life, but think that it will still be a “good day, bad day” situation for a while. I am, however, very happy that things are heading in the right direction.
My new bladder is beginning to work fairly well.... This means that I am starting to have some control over when I pee...... Woo Hoo..... I am recommending that all of you sell your "Depends" stock soon, it is almost certain to take a dive.
This whole situation reminds me that you don’t appreciate something until it is gone. Hopefully, I will emerge from this nightmare with a new appreciation for the simpler things in life..... a kinder, gentler, and more empathetic person. Of course, I might just turn into a mean, angry, bitter old man..... Right now I would put the odds at about 60-40..... LOL
Tuesday, I had to file opposition papers at the bankruptcy court in Santa Anna, a round trip of over 200 miles. It was my most ambitious outing to date, so my friend Carl went with me for company and as a relief driver. I held up remarkably well, so well in fact, that I thought that my endurance had returned. The next day, I spent about 40 minutes pumping out my black water tank, and felt like I had been hit by the swine flue, and run over by a truck. I ended up spending most of the day in bed.
I am anxious to get back to some kind of normal life, but think that it will still be a “good day, bad day” situation for a while. I am, however, very happy that things are heading in the right direction.
Monday, November 9, 2009
November 11, 2009
I am now 4 weeks out from surgery..... Good news..... my legs are starting to work again. I can now walk short distances without the walker. It is slow and moderately painful, but still a welcome improvement.
I am still anxiously awaiting the return of my energy..... as of now, it is a struggle to do anything. I had this same energy problem after my second TURB back in April. I think that it is a part of the anesthesia hangover, and is related to the length of time you are under. For now, I think that the best thing is to just wait it out. I do, however, feel guilty regarding the important things that are awaiting my efforts.
It seems to be time for me to venture out into the world, and I find myself very reluctant. It may take several months to gain some control over my new bladder, and the thought of public embarrassment is overwhelming. The best advice that I have found regarding this messy little problem is to always carry a bottle of drinking water, and pour it over my lap if necessary. Who knew that I would be spending my time learning to walk, and potty training.
People that know, think that this may be the most challenging emotional time for someone in my situation. The drama and trauma are over, the decisions are made, the procedures complete, and I will soon be able to take care of all of my needs. I now begin the slow process of learning to live with my new body parts, and the related limitations. My plan is to be kind and patient with myself, but still do what I can everyday. Do my best to handle problems as they present themselves, and try to get back to normal activities as soon as possible.
There are not words strong enough to express my gratitude to my friends and family. Virtually everyone that I know has gone out of their way to help me during this last year. I still feel humbled and unworthy.....
I am still anxiously awaiting the return of my energy..... as of now, it is a struggle to do anything. I had this same energy problem after my second TURB back in April. I think that it is a part of the anesthesia hangover, and is related to the length of time you are under. For now, I think that the best thing is to just wait it out. I do, however, feel guilty regarding the important things that are awaiting my efforts.
It seems to be time for me to venture out into the world, and I find myself very reluctant. It may take several months to gain some control over my new bladder, and the thought of public embarrassment is overwhelming. The best advice that I have found regarding this messy little problem is to always carry a bottle of drinking water, and pour it over my lap if necessary. Who knew that I would be spending my time learning to walk, and potty training.
People that know, think that this may be the most challenging emotional time for someone in my situation. The drama and trauma are over, the decisions are made, the procedures complete, and I will soon be able to take care of all of my needs. I now begin the slow process of learning to live with my new body parts, and the related limitations. My plan is to be kind and patient with myself, but still do what I can everyday. Do my best to handle problems as they present themselves, and try to get back to normal activities as soon as possible.
There are not words strong enough to express my gratitude to my friends and family. Virtually everyone that I know has gone out of their way to help me during this last year. I still feel humbled and unworthy.....
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
November 3, 2009
Hello to all,
It has been over 3 weeks since my surgery, and I expected to be posting a lighthearted account of my stay in the hospital.... but seem unable to find my sense of humor. In spite of this, I feel obligated to keep everyone up to date.
I am recovering from the surgery on schedule.... by this I mean, the holes in my body are healing up, my new plumbing is beginning to function as expected, and I am feeling a little better week by week. My friends have stepped up and are taking very good care of me, and I expect to get back to my old self in a couple of months.
The good part is that the cancer was confined to the bladder, my pathology report is clear, and it is 95% certain that the cancer is gone. My ongoing treatment will likely just be a cat scan every year. Although life will never be the same as it was, I should be able to live a fairly normal life.
The bad part is, that I am having trouble with my legs, and had to return to the hospital for a couple of days of tests. The doctors have determined that there is nothing life threatening..... blood clots, infections, abscesses, etc. I have very little feeling in the upper thigh area of both legs, and cannot lift either leg to take a step without supporting my weight with my arms..... am now using a walker to get around. The doctors think that this is the result of nerve damage/irritation, and will probably resolve itself with time. I am hoping that they are right, as there does not seem to be a plan B.
Recovery is slower than I expected..... walking 200 ft. is still exhausting, but suppose to get better with time.
I wish that I had a fast forward button.....
It has been over 3 weeks since my surgery, and I expected to be posting a lighthearted account of my stay in the hospital.... but seem unable to find my sense of humor. In spite of this, I feel obligated to keep everyone up to date.
I am recovering from the surgery on schedule.... by this I mean, the holes in my body are healing up, my new plumbing is beginning to function as expected, and I am feeling a little better week by week. My friends have stepped up and are taking very good care of me, and I expect to get back to my old self in a couple of months.
The good part is that the cancer was confined to the bladder, my pathology report is clear, and it is 95% certain that the cancer is gone. My ongoing treatment will likely just be a cat scan every year. Although life will never be the same as it was, I should be able to live a fairly normal life.
The bad part is, that I am having trouble with my legs, and had to return to the hospital for a couple of days of tests. The doctors have determined that there is nothing life threatening..... blood clots, infections, abscesses, etc. I have very little feeling in the upper thigh area of both legs, and cannot lift either leg to take a step without supporting my weight with my arms..... am now using a walker to get around. The doctors think that this is the result of nerve damage/irritation, and will probably resolve itself with time. I am hoping that they are right, as there does not seem to be a plan B.
Recovery is slower than I expected..... walking 200 ft. is still exhausting, but suppose to get better with time.
I wish that I had a fast forward button.....
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