Sunday, March 1, 2015

Bad news

This blog contains disturbing and alarming information, continue at your own risk.

It has been a long time since my last entry, but, “if you can’t write something nice, don’t write anything”. My Oct scan showed a small (4 mm) lesion on my lung..... worrisome, but not definite. Not wanting to cause unnecessary concern, I decided to wait for my next scan at the end of March.

Then came a small but persistent pain in my back. I generally do not worry about small pains, I am old after all, and assumed that it would go away with time. Not so this time...... the pain continued, and became annoying, enough to require an occasional pain pill.

Ok, I connected the dots moved my scan up to the end of Feb. I wanted to know before my annual pilgrimage to Pa. So..... many new and larger lesions on my lungs and liver. No question, the cancer had returned with a vengeance.  My condition is not operable, and not consistent with recovery. Without chemo treatment, my life expectancy is less than a year, with chemo, more than a year.

After I return from Pa. They will take a sample, and do “gnome” testing to help determine what kind of chemo is best. The goal is to shrink tumors and prolong life while maintaining a reasonable quality of life.

Of course, quality of life vs. quantity of life questions will need to be answered. It appears that it will be a fine line.

I never planned to live forever, but this is still a shock..... I plan to update this blog as soon as my thoughts settle down.


Barbara said...

Oh, John, I'm so sorry. It sounds like you have some tough decisions to make. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

JoAnn McKinley said...

Sending lots of love.

ladynomad said...

So sorry to hear this. I know you have already been long on this battleground. Will be praying for you and whatever your choice of treatment.

pdurant said...

This is certainly not what we hoped and prayed for you. I'm looking forward to seeing you on Wednesday and spending as much time as possible with you while you are here. See you Wednesday. Love you brother.

Terri Lacasse said...

John...I found it...the comment section. You are so smart...or maybe I am just so...???..let's not go there k? John, I want to thank you for any time you give me, for letting me watch TV with you last night, for taking the time to explain just how poker is played...LOL! For letting me drive you to the hospital...for letting me play with your tablet...and mostly just for being you. Please call on me any time you need me, or even if you don't, because in my pea brain, I am making memories. Karen is a love and I so enjoyed spending time with her as well. Thank you John...Thank you! I do love you so are most certainly my soul brother!! See you again soon!!

Mary Gridley said...

My dear friend, I am so sorry to hear this news. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as always. Thank you for so many wonderful memories and good times. Be strong as you always are. Love Mary

Anonymous said...

So nice seeing you in Pennsylvania last week. Love you brother and praying for you.