Oct. 5

Hi all, Still kind of one handed, but not many other things that I can do.

I met with the doctor last Tues, and came away with some information, and many questions. I love that my doctor is usually on time with appointments, but seems to short change the Q&A segment. In addition, I realize that they don’t get paid much from Medicare, so must see lots of patients to have the math work out. Actually, I am somewhat surprised that these “top of their field” doctors are willing to see me at all. 

Anyway, it is not that he leaves before I can ask another question, but seems to be gone before I can process his answers. Here is a thought, maybe he is not particularly fast, but that I am getting slow...... seems like the more likely explanation.

Back to the main point.... medical information. The doc says that some of the original tear had healed, and some of it had torn again, and that I had an additional tear of the bicep tendon. OK, seems simple enough, but somehow brings up more questions. Did I really tear a tendon opening a jar of pickles? If so, I am now stronger than my connective tissues. Yikes..... while strong is generally considered good, that..... is not a good thing. Must I now put some kind of governor on my activities.... already limited in what I can lift, but now only 80% effort????? AT ANYTHING?????

Anyway, he certainly did more stuff than the first time. OK, I don’t know that for sure, but the evidence points that way. 5 small holes, same as before, but 2 are in completely different places than before. Also, there is an incision, about 3-4 inches long, from my arm pit up towards my shoulder. And.... this time, much more pain. Did I say much more? I meant \\\\\ MUCH MORE PAIN/////. Last time, my “happy juice” device kept me content set at 4-6... This time even settings of 12-14 were not nearly enough, and it ran out of juice much quicker. I gobbled up the maximum number (ok, maybe a few more..... prescriptions are always a bit on the safe side) of narcotic pain pills, and still nearly ended up back at the hospital. This went on for days.... I nearly had to threaten the pharmacists to give me the refill after only a couple of days.

The last bit of evidence is.... this time, longer in the sling, (don’t know how long) and 6 weeks before any physical therapy. I recognize that this may be the doc is just being extra careful because of the initial failed repair.

I will be seeing the doc again on Tues, and will try to gain some useful information.

By the length of this post, I am thinking that my brain is beginning to function again. I am at least able to focus on a project long enough to finish it. Thanks to any of you who managed to read the whole thing.

Hi all, Once again, I have survived the surgeons knife. The fix was more complicated and took longer than expected. The aftermath, so far, is more painful and debilitating than last time. Karen has again stepped up to take care of me.

I will report more when I can type with 2 hands.

Hi all,

Well..... 3 month later, very limited use of right arm, and much physical therapy....... The repair of the tendon has failed! I go back under the knife next Wed. The 26th. Go to jail, go directly to jail..... 3 to 6 months for stupidity.

I think that it happened at the 6-8 week mark. At that point, I was out of the sling, and allowed to use my hand and fore arm. So.... I wanted a pickle with my lunch, and had trouble opening the jar. Of course, I could have done without the pickle, but, being true to my gender..... the obvious answer, MORE POWER. Keeping my right elbow carefully pinned to my side, as instructed, hold with the right hand, and twist with the left...... POP, PAIN, FOUL LANGUAGE, 40 seconds later, no pain, probably didn’t hurt anything, close one, have to be more careful.

So, back to the sling, and out of commission. I have to say that this is really not how I envisioned my “golden years” LOL. I am beginning to understand the “old people only talk about their operations” thing.... How are you.... What is new..... What happened to your arm..... Want to go kayaking?? Well since you ask.....

OK, this is a “medical issues” blog, but all is not doom and gloom medical stuff. Karen and I went on a nice motor home trip up the coast. We had a great time, and my dog, Maggie, discovered that “Dog Beaches” are the best thing ever.

Yes a new dog. A friend postulated that I finally got a dog when I decided that I was going to live a while longer. Nothing could be further from the truth, I was drugged and trapped.... I was on a kayak trip to a lake near Santa Barbara, tripped over a tent guy wire, tore rotator cuff. Next day, heavily sedated, I went with Karen and friend Judy to an animal shelter. Judy was looking for a new replacement dog. Karen, Judy, and the girl at the shelter instantly bonded, formed a pack, and surrounded me. The little terrier cross, with the “please save me” look, and 3 attractive women.... Well, I must say, in my drug induced haze, I was defenseless. I will now be trying to attach the leash to an excited little dog with my left hand.

June 20, 2012

Well..... It is time for a report, and I will do my best even though there is an extreme lack of motivation.



Happy first day of summer..... longest day of the year.....

It has been two weeks since the doctors at USC took a stab at fixing my shoulder.... OK, it was 5 stabs as evidenced by the 5 small wounds that surround my shoulder. Arthroscopic surgery... some very cool stuff..... if you are interested, you can check it out on u tube. The lack of a large incision certainly makes the recovery process easier, which, of course, is always welcome.

Apparently, my shoulder was worse in fact than the MRI indicated. The torn tendon was more severe than expected, and the joint itself had suffered from the 55+ years of construction work, and more than a few incidents with motorcycles, high school sports, horses, etc......

In any event, the torn tendon was reattached by placing 2 anchors into the bone, and the mating surfaces of the bones were shaved down to provide pain free interaction. Physical therapy begins today, and time will tell if their efforts were successful.

I must say that I have a new appreciation for the amount of pain that bones can produce. For the first 3 days following surgery, I was lucky to have a device, about the size of a large grapefruit, that delivered happy juice to the nerve that transmits pain from the shoulder. Other than a hand that felt half asleep for a few days, the device worked perfectly. No pain for the first 3 days. Then..... the thing stopped working.... of course, I took it apart, and determined that the machine was working properly, but the end in my shoulder must have become plugged. OK, no problem, I had pain pills. Eating pain pills like they were popcorn didn’t make the pain go away, but did take the edge off, and put me into a mental state where I didn’t care that it hurt. I now only use the pills occasionally at night.

4 more weeks with the arm in a sling, ok to use the hand and lower arm, but not the shoulder. Very awkward and unhandy. Some things that I have done with my right hand for about 60 years, are difficult to do with my left hand...... no details here, but you can imagine.

June 8, 2012

Hi all, typing with one hand, I will keep it short. Surgery went well and I have an appointment with the Doc next Thursday. Living life as an awkward left hander on drugs.... expect that it will bring out my degenerate artistic side. More another day.....

May 31, 2012

Hello all,

Under the category "Motorhome" ..... The answer is "rebuilt transmission, new water heater, electronic switch panel for leveling jacks, new starter, and as yet to be determined electrical repair". The question is....... "What does a motor home demand after 3 years of neglect". Karen and I had a couple of nice, short trips this past month. We spent a weekend with the Elks Lodge camping club, and a week exploring Yosemite. The mechanical problems were annoying, but it was still a good time, and it was good to see a different view for a while.

I have rescheduled my shoulder surgery for June 6, at 11:00 am. This is routine stuff for the pros at USC, and I don't expect anything exciting to take place. My arm will be in a sling for about 6 weeks, and I will have limited use for several months thereafter. I sincerely hope that reports of the aftermath by family and friends are greatly exaggerated. In any event, I have a long list of chores that can be done with one arm..... mostly 3 years of catching up on paper work. I really mean it this time...LOL

I may, once again, enter the legal arena. A property next to one of my rentals has a failed retaining wall and fence that are falling into/onto my property. Probably a $10,000 to $15,000 problem. The property is now owned by Bank of America. The previous owner kept promising to get it fixed, but..... I guess that she knew she would be out of there soon, so why bother. I don't think that B of A  will fix it with out a fight. Anyway, it has the makings of an interesting contest, after all, banks have always made demands on me, and it will feel good sending them a demand letter.

I will be staying with Karen for a while after the surgery, but will have my phone and computer available.

Hi all, and happy May Day,

It has been a while, and to tell the truth, there has not been much to report. This blog was created to keep family and friends up to date on my life threatening medical issues, so I guess that having nothing to report is a good thing. Anyway, here are some of the highlights of the last 4 months.

The new rental house has been fixed, painted, and rented out..... This completes the project that started with the sale of my Lockwood Valley property last Sept.

My financial situation now appears to be in order..... OK, more in order than it was..... I am trying to live on a budget, but it doesn’t seem to be my strong point. I have always worked hard, lived cheap, and not worried too much about money. There have been a few bumps in the road, but mostly I had enough to get by.

While camping last November, I fell and hurt my shoulder. It turned out to be a torn rotator cuff..... several trips to the doctor, an x-ray and an MRI, 2 months of physical therapy, a shot of cortisone, and anti inflammatory drugs...... The cuff is still torn, apparently these things do not ever heal by themselves.

My choices are to live with the problem, and accept a limited use of my right arm, or get it fixed, and be out of commission for a few months. My brother Jim had this surgery last year, and said that the recovery was long and painful. I expect that I am a bit tougher than him, and probably won’t have any problem...... LOL

They can do a arthroscopic surgery to fix the tear, and I should be “good as new” in 4-6 months. I have tentatively scheduled the surgery for June 4. I always have plans to get all of my life in order before a surgery, and I really do try..... but.... it never seems to work out.

Outside of these events, life has been normal and unexciting..... that is really not so bad after the last 3 years of high drama. I really don’t have a plan from here, and am finding that somewhat disturbing. These last few years I have been struggling to stay alive and solvent, and not spent any time considering life after illness. I suppose that most folks run into this issue as their “Golden Years” approach.

December 26, 2011

It has been a while since my last post, but I was waiting for the results of my yearly cancer scan on Dec. 20 ......... All clear, no signs of cancer. What a relief. For those of you who haven’t ever had any issues like this, it may seem like a small thing, but for me, it is huge. The longer you go without cancer returning, the better chance you have that it never returns. I always have “high anxiety” leading up to doctors appointments, but these yearly scans feel like a very real session of russian roulette.

Another bit of good news..... My insurance company, you remember Health Net don’t you, has finally paid UPMC for my surgeries back in the spring of 2009. This was not just “the insurance company doing the right thing”, but is what happened after my attorney threatened to start arbitration proceedings. (They paid my attorney as well,) I signed a non disclosure agreement, and am not sure exactly what I can say, but I am pretty sure that I can report things that happen regarding my health care bills........... My credit report should show that the “collection account” has been paid, however, it doesn’t go away, and will still reflect negatively on my score.

Speaking of credit scores, I wish mine was better.....

I was able to buy another rental house last month, and am now doing all of the normal clean up, fix up stuff that foreclosed houses need. The rent from this house will nearly fix my monthly cash flow problem.

I would buy many..... except, I am out of money, and no longer qualify for financing.

Enough with the whining..... It has been a long 3 years, but things are going very well, and life seems to be returning to some kind of normal.

Wishing all of you a great holiday season, and the best in 2012.

October 11, 2011

Wednesday the 12th is the 2 year anniversary of my neo bladder. My, how time flies. I have to say that it is working as well as can be expected.... not as good as the original equipment, but much better than the alternative.

I am mostly healed from the last surgery, but there is still a large pocket of fluid that needs to be dealt with. I made several attempts to drain the fluid, but didn’t have much success. The doc may have better tools, but it may be something that I have to live with.

This post is full of “good news”, bad news” stories, so don’t get depressed during the “bad news” parts.

At the end of August, I could no longer afford my medical insurance... I needed to go 6 months without insurance to qualify for the affordable, federal, “high risk” insurance pool, and it seemed like a good time to start the clock ticking. Uninsured, scary, but necessary.

I was also falling behind in my finances.... too many bills, not enough income, credit cards nearing their limits. SSDI had denied my disability claim again, and estimated 12 -18 months for a hearing date. Despondent and depressed.....

Then.....as if by magic, a buyer materialized for a property that I had owned for over 20 years. 2 ½ acres “out in the country”.... a place where I lived, off and on (mostly during domestic reorganizations) in the motor home, and a place for many parties and BBQ’s. A lovely place, paid for, but not income producing. The RE market around here is at a 20 year low. I was sad to sell, but happy for the little bit of money that the sale created. BUT WAIT, THERE IS MORE..... this is probably the only time in recent history that the money from the sale of this property, is enough to buy a modest rental house. More income, a very good thing.

The sale closed on Friday, Sept. 30, what a relief... doing a small but sincere happy dance. I could now pay some bills, and stop worrying for a bit.

Monday afternoon, in the mail, from SSDI..... YOUR CLAIM HAS BEEN APPROVED. Based on a letter from my doctor, they decided, without a hearing, that I would not be able to do construction work, and my skills would not qualify me for a sedentary job. So, I get a trickle of money, (most of my income for the last 20 years has been Capital Gains, not Earned Income), and Medicare..... I can now afford to be sick again... Woo Hoo...

I also get back payments from August 2009. After paying the attorney, there will still be enough to get caught up, and have a bit for a rainy day fund.

There were so many times that I felt like giving up, I cannot describe the relief.

I pondered whether to include my financial information in this blog, and decided that financial and emotional issues are a huge part of my “cancer” story, and needed to be included.

August 26, 2011

Hi all,

Sorry for the long space between posts, but I wanted to wait until I felt a bit optimistic.

I am now finished with the 2nd phase of any major medical event.... the aftermath. It is when the excitement is over, and the dust has settled.... nothing to see here folks, move along.... The anxiety and apprehension are gone, and I am left with pain, drugs, tubes, drains, staples, limited activity, etc..... This has happened after every surgery, so it is no big surprise, but still was annoying, and a bit debilitating.

I woke up Monday morning with just a little energy, and have been feeling a little better each day. I can’t describe how good it feels to wake up feeling something beside doom and gloom. When trapped in that mind set, it seems that there will never be a light at the end of the tunnel, and that life will never be anything but a never ending struggle to survive.

I have been averaging 2-3 surgeries per year, and each of them sets off a couple of months of “no energy to do anything but the absolutely necessary”. Each time, when I start feeling better, I am faced with a stack of undone chores, that take several months to get through.

Don’t want to spend too much time complaining, but definitely a sisyphean situation. In this situation, self employment is a curse. My financial situation begs me to be optimistic, innovative, energetic, and decisive, and suffers when I fail to live up to those ideals.

On the medical front, I have seen my doctor 3 times since the surgery on July 8, and am now happily tubeless. I am restricted, for ever, to lifting no more than 20 lbs, and only that if it doesn’t hurt. I am pleased to find out, according to SSDI, that this is not the least bit disabling.

Anyway, I hope that I have turned the corner on medical issues, and can focus on living life.

Ideas for my first book....“YOU MIGHT BE OLD AND SICK IF”

You look at health care options on the internet instead of porn.

You are a stranger at the bar, but the girls at the pharmacy know your name, phone number, and date of birth.

Your friends avoid asking “how are you doing”.