July 29, 2010

Well, it has been a while, and I keep waiting to be inspired..... I think that really good blogs require some emotional energy behind them. OK, that is not happening, but I want to let everyone know that I am alive a kicking, and I do have a bit of new information

I started this year with some huge problems to deal with, and now it seems that most of these are either solved, or about to be solved. This is great news.... but I find myself unprepared for “life after problems are solved”.

Historically, I consider the future, think about it from time to time, and let the back of my brain mull things over. Just keep adding information, and at some point, various plans begins to take shape, and are slowly refined and revealed as events unfold. I never really decided on this methodology, it just evolved. For most of my life, this has been my “mode of operation”, and has proved to be a fairly reliable way to run my planning department. (OK, I know that many of you could dispute this, and this method has produced some colossal mistakes, but it is all that I have.)

This year, my system has failed. For understandable reasons, I focused on the immediate issues, and spent no time or energy considering the future. As the big issues got resolved, I felt a great sense of relief, but found myself without a plan. Now it seems that I am wandering in circles, dazed, depressed, and disoriented.

Currently, I am scrambling to catch up with hundreds of small issues that have accumulated over the past year and a half, and am trying to formulate a reasonable plan for the next few years. Organized thinking, researching, and planning.... all are somewhat foreign to me.

There is another “fly in the ointment”....... the muscles in my abdomen have pulled apart at the site of my surgery. This allows my insides to bulge into the outside, and must be repaired surgically. The plan is to reinforce the area with some kind of fabric mesh.... as I understand it, this is a fairly common fix for a fairly common problem. This procedure is scheduled for Sept. 8, and will mean a few days in the hospital.

So, here is the problem..... Most of my income has come from activities that involve heavy lifting, and it is uncertain if I will ever be 100% again. I am not sure that I can ever again do the work that I am used to.

So, with the RE crash and my body falling apart, clearly, I need to find a new way to fund my lifestyle. I have some ideas, but, you know how it is with old dogs and new tricks.....